Somewhere back in the recesses of my memory, I recall a dinnertime conversation. I remember a few of the people who were sitting around the table; some were kids like me, and some were the grown-ups charged with keeping us happy and healthy that summer.
Now, who started the conversation, and why, is something that completely eludes me. Because of the many things we talked about when I was growing up, "breads of the world" isn't one that I would have thought would make the cut.
Maybe one of the adults started the conversation, and some of the kids just chimed in. Or maybe one of the more sophisticated kids felt the need to show off that sophistication (which would have been a critical mistake, since that is something that the rest of us would have made fun of for the rest of the summer.) Whatever the origin of the conversation, it was happening, and kids and grown-ups alike were chiming in with their favorite breads. Rye, pumpernickel, and so on were mentioned; it was up to me to provide a different perspective.
"Personally," I said, "I prefer hotdog buns."
And the truth is, I did! Even today, I can't think of a better piece of bread, especially when one considers versatility as well as taste. Now, I'm talking good old-fashioned buns here. For a while, we were using what we called "boat buns" to house our hotdogs; these were pre-formed buns, shaped to hold a hotdog securely. They tasted good, and held together well. (One of the only drawbacks of the conventional bun was the fact that they sometimes split along the bottom, spilling the condiments into the lap of whoever was eating the hotdog.) Boat buns were, I guess, functional, with the added dimension of exotic taste. ("Exotic" because they didn't taste quite the same as conventional buns.)
But functional is not the same as versatile. Boat buns were no good to fish with, but bream loved to eat bread balls made with conventional hotdog buns. And better yet, on hot summer days you could turn your buns crust-side up; the sun would turn the crusts even harder, but the gooshy whitebread part of the bun would stay cool and moist. You couldn't do that with a regular slice of break; with no protective crust, they just turned to toast in a matter of minutes, and you can't make a bread ball out of toast.
Despite the possibility of having the bottom blow out and getting a lapful of mustard and relish, the conventional buns did just fine as hotdog holders. They were especially good when they were moist (whether by steaming, or just humidity.) The moist buns would cradle the hotdog so well it was almost as if the two had become one.
But as a food source, hotdog buns were useful beyond holding a hotdog. Add a little butter and garlic, put in the oven for a few minutes, and voila! Garlic bread, as good as that in the fanciest Italian restaurant. Top a bun with cheese, pop it into the toaster oven, and within minutes you would have a piece of cheesetoast; the shape might be different, but the taste was just as good.
So the argument for the hotdog bun is strong. But chances are, I would still prefer hotdog buns to fancier breads anyway. After all, I prefer a good pepperoni pizza to one festooned with goat cheese and tuna. I like a good, tall glass of iced tea; you can keep your imported green teas, flavored with exotic fruit. I don't drink coffee, but I'm sure that if I did I'd prefer a cup of Maxwell House over a cup of decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet.
I prefer a cozy cabin in the woods to a giant mansion that squats like a toad on land where the woods used to be, and I prefer a boat that's big enough to get around in to one that's big enough to see from miles away. Bigger isn't always better. More expensive isn't always more valuable. Fancier doesn't always mean more spectacular.
Now, if I could just figure out a way to get some people to see that it's OK to feel that way; at the very least, I wish they could see that it's a choice, not a crime. It wouldn't take many; Margaret Mead once said "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." The hard part seems to be getting that group to speak out…