While channel-surfing not long ago, I saw an ad for the new version of what had been one of my favorite toys when I was growing up; as I recall, the toy had been yanked off the market, and I was surprised to see it return, especially in this day and age, when kids aren't even allowed to play Tag in gym class anymore.
The toy was called Creepy Crawlers; it consisted of some metal molds, and tubes of something called (if I remember) Goopy Glop. The Goopy Glop came in various colors, and the molds were of assorted "creepy crawly" things: bugs, snakes, and so on. You would squeeze the Glop into a mold, bake it, and when it was done you would have a very nice rubbery creature that you could then use to terrorize the more faint-of-heart people you know.
But like I said, you hade to bake the glop-filled molds, and that's where the third component of Creepy Crawlers came in: It was, essentially, a hot plate. You would plug it in, let it heat up, set the mold on the hot plate, and wait for a prescribed amount of time. After removing the mold, and letting it cool, you would have your creepy crawler creature.
If you stop to think about it, little kids were being given a toy that many college students would not be allowed to have in their dorm rooms. Because the hot plate was no toy; it got really and truly hot, hot enough to sizzle skin, vaporize water, and set the curtains on fire if you let them touch it. (As far as I know, I only did two of those things, though it's possible I've blocked some memories, especially if they involved almost burning the house down.)
So, in retrospect, it's no surprise that Creepy Crawlers were yanked off the shelves. If only it had happened sooner; the last upgrade in the world of Creepy Crawlers was the introduction of edible Goopy Glop; without that, we probably wouldn't have Gummy Bears. (If I liked Gummy Bears, I would probably feel a bit differently.)
I'm not sure how the new Creepy Crawlers system is different from the old; I'm sure the hot plate is a thing of the past, or maybe it's enclosed so that the dangerous part isn't accessible. (Of course, whoever thinks that anything is inaccessible to little kids never had any… or never was one.) Maybe it isn't even a hot plate anymore… in which case they'll be yanking this thing off the shelves soon, because what sort of toy is a tiny nuclear reactor anyway?
Seeing that commercial also made me wonder… do they make as many toys as they used to? I don't think so. One reason is safety: hot plates for kids notwithstanding, too many otherwise safe toys just look dangerous, especially in this "sue 'em all for as much as you can get" society we've created. Toy guns? They look too much like real guns. Jump ropes? Too easy to accidentally hang yourself with. Jungle gyms? Disaster waiting to happen; kids could fall, the thing could tip over, and so on.
Sad to say, I'll bet the number one "toy" these days is a video game console. Just what our nation of overweight, under-exercised kids needs: another reason to sit in front of the TV. I know I'm not too far off base; more than once in the past few years I've overheard someone talking about playing football, playing basketball, playing hockey, only to learn that they mean playing a video game of the sport. I even saw an ad for video games for skateboarding, and-- no kidding-- fishing. Fishing! Exactly what is the point of a fishing video game?
Sorry kids, sitting in front of the TV with a joystick in your hands is not "playing football;" it's playing a video game. "Playing football" means you go outside (yes, really) with a football (usually brown, leather, pointed on each end) and play with it. If there are just two of you, toss it back and forth. More than two of you? Divide into two teams and go at it. (If there is an odd number of kids, make the best one play quarterback for both teams.)
Now, take note: you're going to get sweaty, and maybe a little bruised; every now and then, there might be blood involved. (If your field is made of asphalt, try to play touch football instead of tackle.) If there are dogs in your neighborhood, you might fall into something you'd rather not. But don't worry; that's why washing machines and hot showers were invented.
And if you think your fishing will improve if you get the newest PlayStation and a better joystick? Well, for starters, you're not fishing. If you want to go fishing, grab a rod, head outside (there's that word again) and walk down to the lake. In fact, even if you don't want to go fishing, go outside and walk don to the lake. Trust me, it's better than anything you can play on any video game console. And if you don't believe that, then you need to vacate your lakehouse and let someone who can appreciate it move in.
Merry Christmas! And never forget that most of us already have the best gift there is.